I grew up putting ketchup on everything. I was a fussy eater (sweetcorn is still the devil's food) and ketchup made everything taste better. Ketchup on chips, fish fingers, pizza, as well as spaghetti and rice. Now, it's tabasco. Have you noticed that? The older you get the spicier everyone wants their food! When I cook now, I throw tabasco in the mix. When I eat now, I throw tabasco on the top. Tabasco here, tabasco there, tabasco everywhere. Hmm, that was a bit dull.

But I did just have a thought. When people say, 'Hi, it's so and so, I am your presenter for today', they should instead say, 'Hi, I'm so and so, I am your placenta for today.'

So yeah, I am in the workforce proper like. Getting up at 6.30, getting home at 4.30. Then falling asleep. God, I hate being a worker! But, at least there are some financial gains and it means I am eating less (and smoking less!), so I am now not in danger of getting stuck in the chair. Imagine over eating all of a sudden and getting stuck in a chair. If it was a sofa, you'd be screwed. But, if it was a wheely chair, you'd be in luck. Literally, a wheel chair.

Someone blocked the toilet at work today with a big poo. Someone else had to unblock it. You think if you block the toilet with your own poo you'd also unblock it?!

What's the worst sound in the world? A mosquito buzzing past your ear. It's unmistakable. I remember two years ago when I was on holiday with a friend. There was a mosquito trapped in our room and it buzzed past my ear. We were trying to sleep and I complained about the noise of the mosquito. 'Mosquitos don't make a noise!' my friend said. Lo and behold, a mere five minutes later she screams. 'What the hell was that squeaky buzzy noise?'. Yes, that would be the afore mentioned mosquito I was talking about, chuckle chuckle. So then we had to chase it round the apartment and I ended up having it squashed on my book. Let me tell ya, my book was sooooo, like, totally pissed off.

Do you know one of these people? They feel ever so slighty harrassed, and everytime you phone them, it's like their world is falling apart. You pop into the office to see them, because this person is your boss, and there they are, pulling their hair out, smoking because they are so stressed and their world is about to fall apart. They've grown stubble, because it's like, really physically affecting them. God, attention seekers suck the life right out of you. Who has time for them?

Anyway, sleepy weepy time.