Gosh, it's been a while. Have you missed me? Oh, don't cry, I'm back now. There there. Yes.

I've just been, like, sooooo busy man. I leave for South Korea next week, and I have sooooo much to do and soooooo little time. I think for the first time in my life I am feeling a little stressed. Or pumped with excitement. Can't decide.

My hair has been a little transformed which is good. It's been cut, so it looks a lot healthier, and I have also died it so it appears to have this etheral glow about it ... yes, I am special.

I'm sorry, I can't think what to write. I am so on edge I can't concentrate on anything. Off to a wedding this weekend and when that has finished I will be ready to realx for two days before jetting off. Everything is happening too soon and I am so unprepared. The embassey has still got my passport as well, keeping my fingers crossed that comes back in time or else I am screwed, royally screwed. The bank isn't paying me any money back because they are waiting for the general ruling in the court (I think with the Ombudsman and FSA?) and I am owed three weeks job seekers allowance which they have today told me I can't have because my application was filled out incorrectly. What the fuck? You go in there and they go through it with you, so HOW is it filled out incorrectly? Haven't got my outfit for the wedding, have to buy that tomorrow. They paid my wages for temping into the wrong bank account so I don't have access to it, it all sucks. Work is constantly taking the piss out of everything I do and it's draining me, but at the same time it is the only thing that has been keeping me alive.

So busy, so little time to amuse. Hearty apologies ...

The time on the microwave reads 6:01. That means it's been six hours and 1 minute since the flash powercut.

I was studiously watching the advert for Cillit Bang today. Were I an affluential house owner, I would definitely have that in my cleaning cupboard. But then a thought struck me. It showed two perfectly manicured fingers dipping a 1p coin into Cillit Bang, and the half that was dipped came out bright and shiny, oooo, so beautiful! I think all banks and shops should clean all their money! Think how beautiful Britain would be then. Beautiful Britain, with its shiny coins, known the world over for the care it takes with it's money. When you paid for something, it would be like receiving a present when you get your shiny coin back. As a nation (yes, I speak for all of us) we might silently think or comment aloud 'that's a shiny coin'. It could make some people's days and the world would be a happier place. Therefore I make a motion that all places dealing with money should have a vat of Cillit Bang somewhere in the back room to clean up their coins. Oh, and maybe an iron for the notes. Yes.

It's been luuuurvely weather today. The bright sunshine, the light breeze that was strong enough to knock over the tall, sweet-scented, stand alone plants that feature on the concrete part of the garden, and the cloudless sky. Oh, if only there had been a full roast dinner to go with that with a choice of three different meats and the day would have been complete. As it was I ate a Thai curry, which until now I did forget about but it was extremely tasty.

So, I am off to do some cleaning and ironing, slaters.

I sat here thinking, hmm, maybe I should write a serious piece for a change. Pah! Who needs serious, life is too serious in every possible way with its mortgages, debts, taxes, work. So my piece about on-line shopping has now been put on the backburnerD. Grateful? Uh-huh.

Ooooo, I know, let's talk about shopping! No, football! No, shopping! No, football! No, shopping. Ha! See what I did there? Do ya? Hmm, I'm not convinced.

C'mon folks! Let's think up, up, up not down, down, down! I know! Let's think hot air balloons! Although hot air balloons now either remind me of the story by Ian McEwan, Enduring Love (also a film) where the guy dies by trying to hold onto a balloon and as he drops to the floor his body kind of folds into itself, eeew (good book though) and it also reminds me of Richard Branson and his Virgin company. Neither of which are positive.

Lets pretend we are in a balloon. Let's pretend we are sky sailing over green pastures or cityscapes. Let's pretend the day is warm, the sun is shining, the sky is brilliant, bathroom blue, but yet some mother nature perfectly moulded bright white clouds perforate our sky. We are high above it all with not a care in the world with loved ones, friends, family, and the pet rabbit that won't stop trying to burrow in the floor of the basket. Ahh, blissful days.

Aren't cha all happy now?

'High on a hill on a lonely tree top' ... are they the words? That's what I always sing anyway. I used to have my own words to Phantom of the Opera too, gliding around the house singing, deciding I belong on stage. The stars in the sky were glittering, as was my pinkish/peach star on that road in L.A. Oh, everything just felt so right.

When does a dream stop becoming a dream? I don't think it ever does. I mean, I would love to appear in the West End now as Mary Poppins (of course, I'd be great). Or maybe the lead in Chicago, oh, what a foxy chick I'd make caked in make-up and leather.

Hmm, maybe I could make it as a leading designer. Ha, you normal people you, I'm going to design some unwearable, unpractical, ridiculously overpriced piece of clothing and you, my friends, are going to wear the high street cheap copies and when I walk through the streets of London I'm going to hide my smirk behind my hand as I watch you all go past, unable to walk in your absurdly high heels, clashing oranges and pinks. Yeah.

Is a blog a spot to moan, that's all I ever seem to end up doing! I'm not too into fashion, but I love the tops at the moment because they are really long, and being tall it's about time I can buy a t-shirt without worrying that my itsy bitsy wine belly will be flaunted to the world. ARRGGGHHH! People would've screamed and pointed! What is that?! ARRGGGHHH! It's the attack of the blob! Oh, don't be so down on yourself, I hear you willing me to reassure myself. Jeez, I was simply exaggerating. I've got an average, wibbly belly. Hoo-fucking-rah.

EXIT

Oh my good lord, I have just been bitten by a mosquito on each arm, and I do feel it was the same one! The cheek of the little blood sucker. There it perches, happily on my arm and I feel a sharp sting, look down and lo and behold there is something sharing my blood, through my cardigan I might add! Five minutes later, I am sat here and feel another shapr sting, this time on the right arm, and lo and behold, there he is again! What a filthy beast (even though it does have good taste

Oh, excellent, I have just noticed all the smilies.

Whoah! It's a techno dancer. He's at a rave.

I was actually gonna sit here and think of a witty line for each one, but I might save that for the weekend, don't want to overload your poor readers.

I hate having an insect on me, because then you just feel itchy for ages afterwards. Every slight move and you twat yourself with your hand causing unneccesary pain and effort. Suddenly there are a thousand creepy crawlies all over your body, you're itching your head and generally cosntantly shifting in your seat. See, I am itching an eye brow now. Before it was my back.

The other day I put on my PJ's and what do I feel crawling? No, not an orangutan. A spider. One of those small, fast, brownish, triangular shaped body ones. Oh, that's just crawled on me body. So then of course I had to go and shake various other items of clothing just for the hell of it, you know, why not eh?! It gives me the creeps

The worst is lying in bed, and looking up and noticing something crawling. So you put the light on and the spider increases in size and it just happens to be above your head but you don't want to move it in case it drops on the bed and you lose it so you get the vacuum and suck the bastard up. This may sound a wee bit cruel but I am not wanting to encourage Mr or Mrs spider to crawl on me in my sleep, thanks very much

Oh ggooooooooodddddddddd. Now my freakin' ear is itching.

Anyway, gonna go again before I overdo the smiley usage. Over and out.

There are always things we see which we make a mental note of and then promptly forget. For instance, when sitting on the toilet, I glance at the cobwebs I can see behind the sink, and always think I must get rid of those. But then you instantly forget it.

In the bathroom of my parents home, which incidentally, I offered to paint, I always feel builty because I always notice the obvious lines and bumps of where I slopped the paint on that would be hard to get rid of. You betcha life they would've completed it better!

On a high today, had a humrous day of work joke bashing across the office. Just the three of us, scrawny lady (who unfortunately did come back to work) is off on Thursdays so it's party times! Bet out those jelly babies, yeah!

All I have to do now is wait to hear back from S.Korea to know that the next phase of life is well underway.

I think I am going to start a thought of the day, or more like information for the day section of the blog. Of course, it will be useful Me information, ho ho ho, but hell, why not?!

A guy at work cannot stop saying Whhheeeyyyy in a deafening tone. I think I might have to hit him with the printer.

Ciao for now!

Ohh, that's sad. I just tried to upload a picture so everyone could compliment me on it, but alas, it has failed. I shall now retreat into my shell and drink a coca-cola and eat a packet of crisps. Sniff.

Had a weird day today. The routine of work has already seeped into my system and I slept through my alarm this morning. I mean, I didn't go to bed that late, maybe the alarm wasn't loud enough, I don't really know, but it was going for half an hour before I actually woke up, so I looked even worse than normal, after my shower there were still pillow creases on my face, ahh, cutey wutey, pinch those cheeks!

It's fun, fun, fun with the food at the moment. At work I ate Bassets 'Party Babies', and I have just eaten a bag of 'Discos' crisps. Whoah, mama, pipe down with that wickedy whackedy sense of fun.

Suddenly realised how little time I have left in England before I jet off again - yup, going back to Asia to live the life of ease in roughly arouns three weeks! Not long - there is so much I want to buy before I go as well, but there is no time and no money, oohh err!

The other night I dreamed I had dandruff. What does that mean? And whenever I am talking to someone on the phone I always doodle pictures of arrows. Someone said it's probably because I want to get out of the place and my mind is secretely saying 'the door is that way'. Hmm, maybe I should check which way the arrows are facing, har har, 'cause one day I might just act on those arrows and I don't wanna be climing out no windows, no sirree. Plus, the window in the office is quite high off the ground on the outside side, the inside side is OK. Stairs ot the office see? Like a mezzanine floor.

Off to download music onto my MP3 player, well, not off anywhere really, I simply sit right where I am and only my arms and hands move, so I guess that doesn't really count as being off somewhere, does it. Oh, I am tired and repitive. Oh, I am tired and repitive. Oh, I am tired and repitive. Oh, I am tired and repitive. ENOUGH! Bye.